Events Shape Us or We Shape Events

In light of the school massacre and other tragedies of this past year, it is easy to feel depressed, sad, angry, hostile and all the negative emotions that grief and failure use to imprison us.

But rather than staying trapped in those cages, feeling sorry for ourselves, complaining that the world is going to hell, consider this.

If each one of us does something, one kindness, something helpful, one positive encouraging word, one big smile, one courageous deed…imagine what could happen!

So, what can I do…and what will you do?

I will focus on that one opportunity, that one gift, that one thing I can do and do it to the best of my abilities to invest in another human being. And after that, do it again, laugh with someone, share a story, make a friend, encourage a child, care a little bit more. I will spend my life doing something good, becoming a light in a dark place.

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.-Edward Everett Hale

In the end, we do have a choice. In the end, it's up to us to make a difference right where we are or build a cage and go sulk.

High Level Life Satisfaction

Getting what you think you want rarely brings lasting meaning in your life.

We pursue goals…and we should…but accomplishing those things in our goal book to increase income, bring honors and awards hardly ever give us the high level of life satisfaction we crave once the initial happiness of it fades away.  

Even checking off items on our bucket list, like taking a luxury cruise, skiing the Austrian Alps, or writing a book can fail to bring the increased life satisfaction we desire.

So what does? In my experience three things, the last one is first:


* family and loyal friends, family because you share history, a blood bond and DNA and because in the end you’re still family. Friends, because they stick up for you, meet you for lunch when you need to talk and can tell your stories as well as you can.

* the people who have traveled the same survival path as you, sharing similar hardships together. They encourage you, shove you when you need it, and empathize with you, because they know firsthand what you’re going through. With both friends and survivors, it is about people doing life shoulder-to-shoulder as each of them bear witness to the other of the ordeal, the endurance and the celebration.

* connecting with the God of Creation, who is neither a Santa Claus prototype nor a cruel judge. He takes real delight in us, made us in His own image, wrapped us in His love and blesses us beyond measure. He can wipe away the cosmos or wipe away our tears. And following Him by faith, teaches us the details of how to live, how to love ourselves and others and sift through to what’s important.


Daisy’s Corner:
About a bucket list, I don’t have one. What is it…a list of stuff you want to do before you kick the bucket? I think that’s dumber than dirt! So what if you get a sense of satisfaction because you complete it. See, it’s the completion that has me a bit concerned. Yes, yes, yes I say if you don’t have a bucket, you don’t have to kick it!

Satisficing with friends

 “Satisficing,” is an interesting term. It means we’re satisfied with the first choice that meets our needs. And that’s not a bad idea. It’s a short cut for those less important decisions like buying toothpaste. I don’t want to analyze every tube of toothpaste before tossing one in my basket.

At the same time, I don’t want to let Satisficing determine my inner circle of significant people, (ICOSP) those who have the most influence over me. (I realize we’re pretty much stuck with family.)  ICOSP are people who influence my preferences, where I live, the kind of work I do, my interests and how I spend my time. And the closer and more significant these people become, the more persuasive they are to me.

Our decision-making skills for selecting toothpaste should differ from selecting our mates or friends. Not every chance meeting is a function of heaven or karma. Let’s stop Satisficing when it comes to choosing our inner circle of significant influencers. Be wise.

Dancing on the Danube

When you reach a goal or accomplish a difficult project, do you celebrate it?

My husband, Ken and I, along with eight others spent a week constructing a main building at a children’s camp in Hungary. We met our goals, working extra long hours, putting our hearts into the work. And despite aches and head colds, windy weather and old-fashioned tools, we completed what we hoped to achieve.  At the end of the week, our team leader, Harry Barrett, founder of CMI, (Creative Ministries International) arranged to take us on a dinner cruise down the Danube. This was a surprise celebration.

Waiters greeted us with trays of Schnapps and orange juice. We dined on Hungarian dishes blended with spices, sweet onion and paprika.

As the boat glided through the water at sunset we danced to old favorites, like “Moon River” with live musicians. At dusk, flood lights illuminated Budapest’s buildings along the banks, sending their long pastel reflections rippling across the water.

At one point, I said, “Hooray for Harry! Imagine dancing on the Danube.” And then I thought, Dancing on the Danube is a great acronym for celebrating your best.

Whether you’ve ever danced on the Danube River or not, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you celebrate your best work, your achievements and the proud moments of who you are.

Why is it we always make time to struggle, grieve, worry or chastise ourselves, but let our accomplishments slip by without much thought, moving on to the next project or event.

Looking back on our lives, it’s easy to see the difficult times, but how easy is it for us to see the number of times we celebrated out of pure happiness?

Take time to Dance on your Danube.

Failure Leads to Extraordinary Achievements

Any respectable goal includes hurdles and obstructions.  It’s rare that a linear expressway takes us to our goals. 

In the story, “The Opportunity Buggy” from my latest book, Covered, a preteen girl, Helen, has an audacious goal, to be independent and live well, as she rolls outside in her wheelchair, having lost the use of her legs in a car accident. But she tips over, scraping her arm, frustrated by the failure. The family’s feisty housekeeper, Mrs. Ludwig comes to her rescue.

“I hate that chair. I hate it,” Helen screamed. She was crying now. “It’s ugly and I’m sick of it, sick of being stuck in a wheel chair, sick of being a cripple!”

“Miss Helen, sounds like your attitude, more than your situation, is what needs helpin” [Mrs. Ludwig said]

Mrs Ludwig helped Helen sit up.

“Now you listen to me, Miss Helen, it ain’t your wheelchair’s got you trapped, it’s your thinkin’ that’s got you trapped.”

Helen held her sore arm. “I can’t even go outside by myself without falling down and getting hurt,” she said, whimpering.

“Guess we gonna have to work on fallin’ so’s you can learn how to git up.”

Obstacles shape us, make us wiser, kinder and more compassionate. Overcoming mountains teach us how to survive, molding valleys and failures into extraordinary achievements. Read Covered and learn the rest of Helen's story.